A Frauditor Dies and Approaches the Pearly Gates

[stigsworth]

SAINT PETER: "May I help you?

FRAUDITOR: "Name and badge number!"

SAINT PETER: (places a warm welcoming hand on Frauditor's shoulder): "We don't have badge numbers up here, son."

FRAUDITOR: "Don't touch me! That's assault!"

SAINT PETER: "You won't need that camera up here. All our lives are an open book. Let me dispose of it for you."

FRAUDITOR: "Tyrant! Don't come near me. Six feet! Did you take an oath?"

SAINT PETER: "No. No oaths. We all let our yeas be yeas and our nays be nays."

FRAUDITOR: "Let me see your Supervisor!"

SAINT PETER: "He's busy sustaining the universe."

FRAUDITOR: "@!!*!#&, You're dismissed, tyrant."

SAINT PETER: "Pardon me while I step out to greet this next dearly departed."

FRAUDITOR: "WALK OF SHAME!"

SAINT PETER: "Hold on. I'll be right back."

FRAUDITOR: "F*** you! Am I being detained?"

SAINT PETER: ""No, son. By no means."

FRAUDITOR: "If I'm free to go, I'm free to stay."

SAINT PETER: "No, actually at this point, you're only free to go. To hell, that is. Good bye.

 

[S.SaulGood]

SAINT PETER: "May I help you?

FRAUDITOR: "Name and badge number!"

SAINT PETER: (places a warm welcoming hand on Frauditor's shoulder): "We don't have badge numbers up here, son."

FRAUDITOR: "Don't touch me! That's assault!"

SAINT PETER: "You won't need that camera up here. All our lives are an open book. Let me dispose of it for you."

FRAUDITOR: "Tyrant! Don't come near me. Six feet! Did you take an oath?"

SAINT PETER: "No. No oaths. We all let our yeas be yeas and our nays be nays."

FRAUDITOR: "Let me see your Supervisor!"

SAINT PETER: "He's busy sustaining the universe."

FRAUDITOR: "@!!*!#&, You're dismissed, tyrant."

SAINT PETER: "Pardon me while I step out to greet this next dearly departed."

FRAUDITOR: "WALK OF SHAME!"

SAINT PETER: "Hold on. I'll be right back."

FRAUDITOR: "F*** you! Am I being detained?"

SAINT PETER: ""No, son. By no means."

FRAUDITOR: "If I'm free to go, I'm free to stay."

SAINT PETER: "No, actually at this point, you're only free to go. To hell, that is. Good bye.

Fantastic. If you're the author, you're VERY talented!

 

[JpMayer80]

This is so true!

 

[Coach K]

SAINT PETER: "May I help you?

FRAUDITOR: "Name and badge number!"

SAINT PETER: (places a warm welcoming hand on Frauditor's shoulder): "We don't have badge numbers up here, son."

FRAUDITOR: "Don't touch me! That's assault!"

SAINT PETER: "You won't need that camera up here. All our lives are an open book. Let me dispose of it for you."

FRAUDITOR: "Tyrant! Don't come near me. Six feet! Did you take an oath?"

SAINT PETER: "No. No oaths. We all let our yeas be yeas and our nays be nays."

FRAUDITOR: "Let me see your Supervisor!"

SAINT PETER: "He's busy sustaining the universe."

FRAUDITOR: "@!!*!#&, You're dismissed, tyrant."

SAINT PETER: "Pardon me while I step out to greet this next dearly departed."

FRAUDITOR: "WALK OF SHAME!"

SAINT PETER: "Hold on. I'll be right back."

FRAUDITOR: "F*** you! Am I being detained?"

SAINT PETER: ""No, son. By no means."

FRAUDITOR: "If I'm free to go, I'm free to stay."

SAINT PETER: "No, actually at this point, you're only free to go. To hell, that is. Good bye.

Phenomenal!